Its only a game....of life?

Recently I received news about the death of a cricketer in the local cricket league...on the field itself...I am not too sure what the circumstances surrounding that incident was...and so will not comment about it...But obviously I was shocked and saddened by the incident. It got me reflecting on my attitude while I am on the field...
During my stay in the US I have enjoyed company of great people who love sport and are passionate to no end...I too love sport...both watching and playing...I had the chance to play a lot of cricket while in school at Oregon...and a little here in Washington...I played indoor soccer here in Seattle for couple of seasons and now recently have begun "flag football" (a mellow version of American football). Admittedly I am not the best in any of these sports...but that does not take away from me the desire to try my best and give it all...well...is there anything wrong in trying your best on the field? The answer is NO...go there and give your best...But I have found myself getting into unwanted tussles/arguments while on these fields...Couple of incidents which spring up are...arguments with close friends on the field which later turn awkward once you get home and share a room with the same guy you just called "a cheat" or "an individual with no morals". Another one is when I was hit by a ball on my head and I still stood there just so that I do not seem weak and give that satisfaction to the guy who hit me...
Thinking back, I ask if those victories were really worth it? I mean...luckily I was not badly hurt or I did not lose a friend for life...but believe me...at that time, nothing was in my control. And I could have easily hurt myself or lost a friend...because at that time all I cared was for that small little game...While playing a game you tend to get carried away and the adrenaline rush blurrs the line between trying your best and pushing your self beyond what is required. I play sport only for relaxation...and stand to gain no fiscal benefit from it...believe me when I say I am far from making money as an athlete...So when my aim for taking up a sport is pure relaxation, I see no reason to get so worked up...
This news of the gentlemans death of a playing field just puts in perspective how much more there is to life out of the playing field...and the earlier we learn to keep that in mind at "All" times...thats when we become better sportsmen and play a tougher game....

There are no small parts....

When this is the first thing you hear at the first read of a play you will be acting in, you are bound to get a negative feeling about the whole thing. Acting for me was always about being a central character in whole act. Never could I understand the motivation of a guy standing at one corner of the stage holding a tray. Why was he wasting his time there when no one in the audience cares for him? Not so very long ago I auditioned for a role in a local theater. The audition notice did not say much about what roles they were or how long they would be. For me, at least then, a good role was all about being on stage most of the time and saying a lot of dialogues. I never could appreciate "guest appearances" by film stars under the pretense, this "character" has a lot of implication in the overall story. For me, it was simple. The more time you had on stage, more you get noticed...more you speak on stage, more chance you have to show your talent.
With this in mind, I auditioned for a part in the play. It was a typical setup with the "director" in a closed room handing out scripts and then asking people to "perform" the part. I read my part and it seemed really simple. As usual, I tried couple different implmentations of that part and picked one which I thought would be best given the background information about the character.
In I went and ranted away and performed to glory. At least thats what I thought. There was a pause...Some anticipation...More silence...Director scribbling notes on the sheet of paper...Finally, after what seemed to an eternity, he looked up..."Feel the character"...Those were the first words he said..."You did good...but feel the character". The "you did good" part came a tad late...Just reversing the order of statements would have done a world of good to me. I left the room and re-read the part given. After couple of attempts I said to myself.This is what I have...this is what he gets. I went back in. Did the act again and this time he reacted immediately. "Much better". I left the auditions on that high note.
A week later I got a mail from him...Saying you have a part. I was pretty confident based on my audition antiques that I would get a call. And the email re-enforced my belief. Off I went happy and high to the first read of the play. "Krishnan, you play 3 characters in this play". WOW...3 characters. I did god damn well. I looked through the characters I played. Six...The number of dialogues I had. I am not sure how I felt about it...Hurt...Insulted...ego busted...Nothing...Going to rehearsals when you just have 6 dialogues can get challenging. I just have 5 minutes to contribute...After 30 minutes driving and $4 worth gas. I started by attending a few and skipping a lot...But as I attended I was attracted to whole process of making a play...The nuances in movement...The motivation of characters...emotional interplay....how each dialogue is not merely a line but a dump of the characters psyche...On one hand it was such a tremendous learning experience...and on the other I met lot of people and gained wider perspective...All this with just 6 dialogues...In fact, later I liked the fact that having only 6 dialogues meant acting while you are at it...and getting the other fringe benefits all the way...
So...really...there are no small parts...because what you gain is well beyond what you do on D day...Besides...here is the way I look at it. If I forget what I have to say on stage, I could cause havoc...Which really means....There are no small parts.